Ah Beng And His Joke

Posted by Shahmi in funny, jokes

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I was just ended my 1st test.Just wanna rest for a while , i found jokes in the forum.

Wanna share coz it is funny...

Enjoys guys


Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
********************

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."

=========================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

===============================================
Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

==================================================
Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

===================================================
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM


credit to : SoulKnight

Kids In Grade School Think Fast!!

Posted by Shahmi in jokes, Kids

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TEACHER: Why are you late?

WEBSTER: Because of the sign.

TEACHER: What sign

WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
_____________

TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
_____________

TEACHER: John, how do you spell "crocodile?"

JOHN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

JOHN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
_____________

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?

SARAH: H I J K L M N O!!

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
______________

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.

GEORGE: Here it is!

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: George!
______________

TEACHER: Willie, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WILLIE: Me!
______________

TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?

TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
______________

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."

ELLEN: I is...

TEACHER: No, Ellen... .. Always say, "I am."

ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
_____________

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"

JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the
same day, same time."
_____________

TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down
his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing
it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"

JOHNNY: "Because George still had the ax in his hand."
______________

TEACHER: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say
prayers before eating?

SAM: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_______________

TEACHER: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is
exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?

DESMOND: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
______________

TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people are no longer interested?

PUPIL: A teacher.